The Secret Spouses

If you have a man that can’t or won’t do anything for you, only you and him should know about him

From: An old head

What It Means to Me: I can love whomever I choose to, but if it’s a man who cannot or chooses not to do anything for me it’s in my best interest not to tell anyone about him. From my experience it is because people don’t usually want to do for a woman w/ a “man” because it is usually assumed that her man is able to do for her where she is unable to. It’s usually an incorrect belief, but it’s what people tend to think. It’s not far fetched. I mean why would you intentionally plan a life w/ someone who is unable to add to you…if all he does is take from your situation, why? Unfortunately it happens A LOT!

Another reason is because even if I find someone who is willing they usually will have mixed feelings because doing for me is indirectly doing for him. From my experience very few people want to support a man, especially a man that’s not their blood. This disdain is exacerbated if it is perceived that this man lacks ambition and chooses to be lazy.

How I apply: I’m not willing to take a man serious if he does not take his life serious. I don’t want a man who is unable to sustain himself. I know I would have a hard time looking at him as a man if he cannot stand on his own. I have goals and plans, and only interested in a man w/ serious goals and a plan of his own. Any man w/ a plan would never be content w/ sitting on his ass.
He doesn’t have to be rich but if he can hold his own it is likely he will grow to be able to hold more. Which will be great for when kids come into play, or if I hit hard times. Of course it would be vice versa, but you can’t come in trying to eat off my plate. We can share, but sharing would mean you have something to offer in exchange for what I’m offering.

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